the old photograph
when time's passage slaps you in the face
A family friend in my dad’s peer group recently gave me an old photograph that he’d found while cleaning out his home in preparation for a move.
The picture had been taken at a barbecue gathering in my late high school years, and in it I’m standing with two other young women with whom I’ve since lost touch.
The photograph, which I’d never before seen, took my breath away. I’m not going to downplay it: I looked really good.
He gave it to me while gathered with about 10 other adults, who all know me as the midlife woman I am today. I felt an obvious, collective pause as we all took in the image.
No one said it, but the difference in my likeness was dramatic.
In that photo was a gorgeous young woman—bright skin, shiny hair, sparkly eyes, slim figure. And here, in real time, was me, an average mom, claiming this youthful beauty as mine. I felt, truthfully, a bolt of shame by the disparity. I tucked that photo away, and laughed it off.
Aging is a slow creep for most of us. And lately, my mind’s perception of myself and my outer appearance haven’t been in synch. I’ll admit that when I glimpse my reflection and am faced with the blunt impact of time’s passage, I’m bothered.
But, I’ll also come clean and admit that from the inside looking out, I prefer being Midlife Me to any former version of myself. Even as that teenage girl, I dreamed of being in my forties. I always imagined that I’d be happiest in this stage—settled into adulthood with lots of big decisions and experiences behind me. And I am happy—I love midlife so far.
And truth is, although I don’t prefer photos of Midlife Me, I feel more beautiful now than I ever did in my youth. How weird is that?
Perhaps I’m finally wise enough to embrace the whole “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” saying. I’ve long understood that we all have unique opinions of what beauty is, and those differences make humanity, art and the world interesting. But the part that I hadn’t really considered until now is how significantly the beholder changes over time.
My mind can still channel that inner 17-year-old self from the photograph—my memories are razor sharp. I carry her with me. And sure, she was pretty, although I surely didn't see it then. But I wouldn't want to be stuck as her. I'm so grateful to be the home to all my other growing selves over the past 30 years that have built this mansion of a heart, this nest of a body, and this map of a face.
Youth has its perks, but, man, so does getting older.
So while I’m motivated to be better about SPF and my exercise regime, I’m also aware that true beauty for me now has become something that I feel more than I see.
And as signs of aging continue to take shape, I want to tune in, more deliberately, to the inner beauty of others. The kind of beauty that photographs easily miss. The kind of beauty where positive energy reigns, where wisdom flourishes, and where love's light shines.
Let's be beautiful.
And also...
Big Announcement! Check out my NEW YouTube channel!
Becoming Everwell with Linds is a channel where I share aloud these written midlife snapshots. If you like my content, please subscribe and follow along. New posts each Wednesday.
P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are TWO ways I can support your growth today…
Enroll in my Masterclass: The 5-Step Framework to Thriving as a Midlife Mom to prioritize your inner wellness.